i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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