You really coming over, don't trick.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
