i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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