did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
