what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
