So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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