the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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