My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
