you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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