Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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