I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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