As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
