How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
