I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
