my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
