I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
