Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You took a bar mat shot.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
