no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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