"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
