No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
