capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
