His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
