Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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