I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
