problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I want to make a zoo with you.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
