The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
