I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
