i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
