Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
