I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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