I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You ruined the universe
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize