I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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