let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
They have beer where we have blood.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
