so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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