I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
