make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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