did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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