you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
