I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize