I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
