And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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