My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
