Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
