So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
