You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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