highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
