i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Of course I have a pirate flag
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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