I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
