The brown eye won't let me do that either.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
