My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
