i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
