I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize