I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
