Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
