For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
