Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
