real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
