hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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